Father's Day Shoes
(#11 in Shoelaces LD universe)
by Jennamajig

SUMMARY: Daniel and Jack try to deal with Daniel being little Daniel. Inspired by the DJsSG-1Lverse yahoo list.

SEASON/SPOILERS: None.

DISCLAIMER: The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.

"I can make something else if you don't like it, Daniel."

He pushed the carrots and mashed potatoes back and forth on his plate. His newly adopted Dalmatian, Dannie, lay at his feet, no doubt hoping he'd drop something. "No, everything's fine."

Daniel heard Janet sigh. "He'll be home the day after tomorrow."

"I know." He picked up a carrot and purposely dropped it. Dannie snagged it before it even had a chance to hit the floor.

"Daniel!"

He put his fork down. "I'm not hungry and she is."

"She has dog food in the kitchen."

"So?" He picked up his fork again and began drawing circles in his potatoes.

He missed Jack. It was the first time he'd spent a significant period of time away from the man since his transformation. The five-year-old in him was depressed, although if he was truly being honest, the thirty-eight-year-old wasn't completely honky-dory, either. Despite the constant battles that it had with itself, both part of his brain identified safety with Jack.

Identified home.

It was silly, really. Janet's house was safe, just like Sam's, Teal'c's, even General Hammond's. But it wasn't Jack's.

Jack was offworld on a training mission. He'd encouraged Jack to go, stood in the Gate room and waved good-bye as he walked through the wormhole. Told himself he'd see Jack again in only two days and tried to not to dwell on the fact that he wasn't going with him.

Perhaps that was it, partially. He was jealous. Jealous of a life that currently didn't exist and would, in all likelihood, never exist again in the same form. Oh he could grow, stay with the SGC, and maybe be able to go through the Gate when he was physically eighteen and legal once again. But, of course, that was still light years away.

Either way, he wanted Jack home, selfish as it sounded. But it was also complicated.

See, tomorrow was Father's Day. It was a day he hadn't enjoyed since his parents' deaths. Parental holidays meant little to a foster child with no permanent parent. Yet he could still remember the day when he presented his father with the gift he'd made - a drawing of him with his father, and "I love you, Daddy" spelled out in hieroglyphics. He'd never seen his father grin so wide that one would have thought he'd won a million dollars. Daniel hoped to experience that moment with his own child, and he and Sha're had tried, but he guessed it wasn't meant to be.

Instead, he figured this must be meant to be, at least in the universe's twisted mind. As a five-year-old he was surprised to find himself looking forward to the holiday. His motor skills weren't as strong as he liked, but he managed to draw Jack a picture of the two of them, and write 'Daniel' in the corner. Then Jack had a mission and didn't mention the date at all. Daniel figured it was equally hard for him as well, with Charlie and all. Still, as childish as it sounded, he wanted Jack home on Sunday and wanted to present him with the picture.

And maybe, just maybe, hope for at least a fraction of that smile his father gave him.

Once again, he realized, being five was complicated. He stabbed a carrot.

"Cassie made cake." Janet was bribing him.

"Yep, chocolate," Cassie agreed. "Your favorite."

He dropped the carrot to Dannie.

"Oh, for Pete's sake." Janet sighed and got up, picking up Daniel's plate and presenting it to Dannie. "At least it won't go to waste. Cassie, go find the dog treats because Jack'll be jealous."

The "Jack" she was talking about was Cassie's dog. Said dog in question had spotted the plate and was heading towards Dannie. Cassie nodded and took her plate to the kitchen. Janet patted Daniel's head.

He frowned. He only liked Jack touching his head.

"He'll be back on Monday." She sat down next to him as Cassie came out with a large cake and placed it on the table.

"Monday's too late," he whispered, head down. He felt Janet's hand tip his chin back up and force him to meet her eyes.

"Monday is two days away, Daniel. It will be here before you know it."

She didn't understand. "But tomorrow's Sunday."

She looked confused. "Yes, it is. Sunday usually comes after Saturday and before Monday. At least on this planet."

He sighed. Cassie placed a piece of cake in front of him.

"Mom, tomorrow's June 19th."

"So?"

"It's Father's Day. I just remembered. Dominic was telling me all about this family get-together he has tomorrow because of it."

"Oh." He heard the pity in her voice and he hated it. Hated its sentiment and hated even more the fact that it was bothering him that Jack wouldn't be home on such a day.

"I'm fine, you know. You don't have to feel sorry for me." He was fine. Really.

Janet smiled. "Of course." She took the plate Cassie was handing her. "Please eat the cake, at least, Daniel."

She was trying, he knew. She wasn't the cause of his depression. He picked up his fork and managed to eat at least part of the cake. It was very good, but each piece still felt like lead in his stomach. Janet took the plate from him when she saw he wasn't going to make anymore progress.

"This is really stupid," he said.

"No, it's not." She paused. "I know things are different and I'm sorry that I-"

"It's not your fault," he interrupted, "and I never expected you to work miracles. Okay, well, maybe for a little while I hoped you could."

She gave him a small smile. "I really wish I could, sometimes. It would make my job easier."

"It's not so bad," he admitted. His thumb started to inch towards his mouth again, but he forced it to his side. His five-year-old persona had no qualms about using his thumb for comfort, but his thirty-eight-year-old self knew it was a bad habit, and making him look even more childish than he already appeared. But like most other things, it was a habit he found out of his control.

"I drew Jack a picture," he told Janet, and was proud of that, despite the fact he had absolutely no idea why he had just shared that piece of information.

"You did?"

"Uh huh. But it's at home." In the thumb went and he knew it was useless to try to pull it out when it felt so oddly right.

"He'll love it just as much when you show him on Monday."

He shook his head. "It won't be the same."

"Well, I suppose not," she admitted and reached out to comfort him when the phone rang.

"Mom!" Cassie called from the kitchen. "It's for you! The SGC!"

"Just sit tight. I'll take it in living room," she called and left Daniel at the dining room table contemplating his thumb, Father's Day, and the universe in general.

Three minutes later, Janet was rushing back into the room and calling for Cassie. Daniel bit down on his thumb. Something was wrong.

Jack, he thought. Please don't be Jack.

Cassie came in, her hands still wet, probably from doing the dishes. "Do you have to go in?"

"Yes, I do. SG-1's back early. Watch Daniel, will you? His pajamas are on the guest bed and he needs a nebulizer treatment before he goes to sleep. He knows what to do, okay?"

She was reaching for his coat, but he was still focused on the fact that she said "SG-1."

He blinked and pulled out his thumb. "Jack?" he asked, and Janet stopped in her tracks.

"Oh dear." She paused. "I honestly don't know, but I'll do everything I can." She looked at Cassie. "I'll call."

He watched her leave and didn't realize he'd put his thumb back in his mouth until he tasted blood.

--

Janet did call. Five long, agonizing hours later.

Daniel couldn't sleep. He let Cassie bandage his thumb, help him with his pajamas, even used his nebulizer without complaint, but every second that passed he thought about the fact that he'd been so concerned that he wouldn't be able to show Jack his drawing on Father's Day and now he wasn't so sure if Jack would *ever* be coming home.

Cassie tried to comfort him, but after she'd settled him in bed, he'd clutch at her whenever she tried to leave. So she lay with him, tissue in hand, when he started crying. She rubbed his back, saying things such as "he'll be fine" and "Mom's great at her job."

He had almost worried himself into an asthma attack when the phone finally rang.

Cassie rushed to answer it and he held his breath. He sat up in bed, trying not to picture every worst-case scenario that was running through his brain.

Cassie came back into the room and he didn't meet her eyes.

"Daniel, it's okay."

She didn't sound upset. He looked up at her face.

She was smiling.

"He's going to be fine. He had a knock on the head, Mom said, and has a hell of a headache, but he'll be fine and home in a couple of days."

He let out his breath. "Sam? Teal'c?" he managed to ask.

"Okay. Not a scratch."

He blinked. "Is he really okay?"

"Yes. Really." She settled down next to him on the bed. "Mom says she'll take you to see him in the morning. Hey, the good news is you can give him your picture on Father's Day."

He didn't care about Father's Day any more. All he cared about was the fact that Jack was safe. Five or thirty-eight, that news meant the world to him.

--

The next morning, one hand gripped Janet's as they walked towards Jack's bed. His other hand held onto a piece a paper like it was the key to life itself.

Janet pulled a plastic chair to the side of the bed and Daniel
climbed onto it.

Jack's eyes were closed, there was a bandage above his eye, and he seemed a bit pale, but all in all, he was in one piece. He looked at Janet.

She smiled. "Oh, he's not sleeping. Right, Colonel?"

"You caught me." Brown eyes opened and immediately found Daniel. "Danny. Have fun at Fraiser's?"

"It was okay. Dannie ate my dinner."

"Did she?" He moved his head and winced. Daniel frowned, and Jack reached out to pat his head. "It's okay, kiddo. Just moved a little too fast. Remind me not to do that, okay?" He patted the bed. "Climb on up."

He didn't hesitate before complying and Jack snaked an arm around his shoulders. "Hey what's this?" He pulled the picture from Daniel's hand.

Daniel shrugged. "Um, it's a picture."

"I can see that." Jack studied it. "Not bad. It's you and me." His eyes lifted to Daniel's, curious.

He swallowed and wondered why it was so hard to say what he wanted to say. The words were stuck in his throat and he battled to get them out. "Um..."

Jack looked at him patiently and he kicked himself for being so tongue-tied.

"Happy Father's Day, Jack," he whispered, his voice barely audible.

"What?"

He swallowed again. "I said, 'Happy Father's Day, Jack,'" he repeated, this time louder.

Jack looked back at the picture, eyes wide. "And this is for *me*?"

He nodded.

That's when it happened. Jack grinned, big and wide and perfect, and hugged him as tight as he could.

"Thank you. I love it," Jack told him. "I forgot it was Father's Day. You have no idea how much this means to me, kiddo."

Daniel simply grinned back. Jack was wrong, he did know.

Because it meant just as much to him, too.

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