SUMMARY: Sheppard and McKay get a gift. Written for the SGAHC Five Minute Challenge.
SEASON/SPOILERS: Set season one. Spoils nothing.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Written in 5 minutes, literally. Go me :).
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Stargate: Atlantis or anything associated with it. I'm simply borrowing, but I promise to return all in one piece. Eventually.


"It was a gift. And they were so damn happy to give it to us. I couldn't turn it down."

"But it looks like..."

"Looks like what, McKay?"

"It looks like...I don't need to say. You know perfectly well what it looks like."

"No, Rodney, I don't. So why don't you clue me in?"

"You're smiling. Of course you know what it is!"

"What it is? Or what it looks like?"

"Major, this isn't funny."

"Can you just not say it aloud, Rodney? I mean it was a gift to both of us."

"Yes, I'm well aware of that. I don't need a reminder, thank you. I just don't know what they expect us to do with it."

"Oh, I think I know what they expect us to do with it."

"Um, no. So not going there. And you do know what it is."

"Of course I do. I just want to hear you say it."

"Major, we aren't five. I'm not about to say something you want me to just so you can erupt into a fit of giggles."

"Hey! I don't giggle."

"I think most of Atlantis would disagree."

"No, they wouldn't. They would however agree you scream like a frightened school girl."

"I do not. And I'm insulted."

"You're always insulted, Rodney."

"I am when someone I thought was my friend and co-worker is trying to get to me to utter something I don't want to say and then says I scream like a girl."

"Why can't you say it?"

"Haven't we been through this before? I am not here to amuse you. I have work to do."

"Hey! Wait a second. Take it. It'll make a good paperweight."

"No, thank you. Put in on your desk."

"I don't want it."

"I wonder why."

"I know why. You just won't say it."

"This is a waste of time. I'm leaving."


The object was thrown into a table as John scurried after Rodney. An hour later, when Carson and Radek were walking through the halls, they came upon it.

"Oh my, did they have to paint it pink?"

"It does help add to the image, I think."

"Where did come from?"

"Intergalactic pornography store?"

Carson just blinked at him and Radek shrugged.

"It looks like penis."

Carson squinted at it. "Really? I just thought it was a badly painted paperweight."

Radek shook his head. "You, my friend, need to get out more."